The MELODY Page

This post is entirely fictional, although some of it is true.

“Wowzers! My text messages have gone through the stratosphere the last few days. I get so many questions from devoted number-one fans like you, the ones with inquiring minds wanting to know everything about me. It’s good that I encourage a high level of trust, support, and a healthy conversation! While I wont be able to respond to every single question, I’ll answer some of the most thoughtful ones right here. This is gonna be one long posting, so let’s get down to business, shall we?”

Q: “What is your most favorite class at school?” – Reginald

A: “I’d rather go ahead and say music because it’s more fun and interesting than everything else including biology, chemistry, trigonometry, and especially world history. Heck, we even got to learn about Neil Diamond. Don’t get me started on English literature because Miss Rowland drinks too much caffeine — all the aroma of Folgers hidden in her closet, ecch!”

Q: “Obesity is a chronic disease among teenagers, so I am wondering what you are doing to maintain the shape you’re in. I am a registered dietician, and I must say you look marvelous as the reigning teen queen for your fans!” – M.R.I.

A: “Aw, geeee, thank you! Well, the right thing to do is eat a huge bowl of oats for breakfast, with a good helping of blueberries and a dash of ground cinnamon. No added sugar, and absolutely no Froot Loops! I’m sure that’s simple enough advice to give to your patients.”

Q: “Do you know the way to San Jose’s?” – Stealy Dunn

A: “I assume you’re living in the same subdivision. Guess we’re in good company, then! Yes, you’re talking about the town’s Mexican restaurant that just opened ‘round here after a long delay. Take a right and proceed for three miles, it’s located in a retail strip next to a grocery store, you can’t miss it. Just watch out for speed traps!”

Q: “I see that you have a black cat. What’s its name?” – Ragamuffin

A: “That’s Midnite. I adopted her from the animal shelter a few months ago. And I’m happy she’s got a safe and warm place to be!”

Q: “What is your status on Rick? I hear you’ve been having a daily crush over this pretty boy, but every day I’ve heard too little about your relationship. What’s going on?” – F.O.B.

A: “The deck is always stacked against me. I’m a lonesome loser. But I still keep on trying and keep on playing to win. And I have 100% confidence that I certainly will! He’s not like the other guys, but he’s right for me. Maybe that special someday, Rick and I will go out reminiscing on a yacht for a summer cruise over that little river by the park. I wish…” (On a side note, I can’t quit wearing out my granduncle’s Little River Band 45RPM because their music keeps drifting me out to sea on a breezy summer’s day.)

Q: “Who is your favorite movie star?” – Elvira

A: “Danica McKeller, ‘cause she’s one tough cookie. Heck, she could possibly help me get through second-year algebra, if there ever was time. I’ll ask her if she can bake me some Christmas cookies. Just kiddin’! On the other hand, I wanna be Hedy Lamarr. Actually, I just did that!”

Q: “I recently purchased your group’s latest record “Just A Bunch Of Wonderfuls” and at the final two seconds of this track called “Fanny Fancy In The Garden” I heard this faint whisper that mentioned the name Paul. Is this referring to the Beatle Paul or am I just out of mind?” – R.C. Victor

A: “We had an editing snafu in the finished product. Paul was our sound engineer for this album. But we think it was intentional.”

Q: “Can I go out with you on a dinner date? I’m hungry!” – name withheld

A: “No. Next!”

Q: “I think your layered clothing attire looks very cute and chic on the outside, and love those stripes! Just curious to know what other fashion styles you have in mind.” – C.C.

A: “I know kids of today will laugh and scoff at something that might be kinda lewd, but I love wearing spandex shorts and leggings right below my short skirts and dresses. It’s so jazzy and so cute n’ cool… just like my Momma use’ta wear this way back in ‘89. I can go dancing in the club with this thing or take a nice stroll at the park while it’s Spring. To add greater petite, I’d put on a wide-brimmed hat. Now, I’ve inherited her fashion choice for a new generation like Ecto Cooler. Try it, I double dog dare you.”

Q: “I saw your Instagram post recently, and I’m just drooling over that Snow White cosplay. It’s real lovely, and I think it’s the best! So my question to you is… what is the best fictional character you’ve ever impersonated?”

A: “Fran Fine, from that 90s sitcom called The Nanny. It’s just that Rosemary, my neighbor who’s a TV weather presenter in the uptown section of downtown, thought I was the perfect candidate to do a cosplay. And I turned out, if there is only one word I can think of… fine! Spoiler: she’s a fan of that show, plus Absolutely Fabulous, classical music, and… Mae West (Double spoiler: Rosey’s a great impersonator!]

Q: “Not bein’ controversial or anything like that, but do ya like rap music?” – TraPete

A: “If there is some artistic value and it’s wholesome fun like ‘Too Legit To Quit’ by MC Hammer, then some forms of rap music, yes. Otherwise, all this newer stuff is too X-rated to be taken seriously.”

Q: “Pisces or Libra?” – H.R.S.

A: “Scorpio. Next!”

Q: “What is your opinion of the world in 2026 right now? There is so much turmoil and polarization going on it’s hard to explain to my kids and fellow young adults who still have plenty of years ahead in life. I just want to hear what you think.” – Primmy

A: “As a bright, young, intelligent, and very pretty if totally imperfect 16-year old student with teen queen ambitions and a side job singer / musician, my heart aches when people the world over have lost their way and they can’t get along right. Our current standing is way off balance and so we desperately need to get back on our two feet firmly on the ground again. I was taught only one simple four-letter word when I was in kindergarten, and that is the proverbial L-word. That’s right… love! And when there’s love, there’s light, and a bright new day comes. Even the Beatles taught me this, too!”

Q: “It’s raining men! 😝” – anonymous troll

A: “It’s also gonna rain ping pong balls on top of your head just like Captain Kangaroo’s if you don’t quit spamming around!  ***ahem***  Time is running short, so let’s get through two more questions before we wrap things up.”

Q: “What is the absolute worst thing you have ever done in school?” – Jim Lockerby

A: “Marking a textbook with a yellow highlighter during health and P.E. class. That’s right, I was a baaaaad girl. The principal acted like judge and jury all over me that fateful sunny day in April. Mr. Carson gave me a mandatory sentence of three months in Saturday detention, so he darn well threw the book at me and rendered a guilty verdict. Talk about capital punishment!”

Q: “I’m enjoying your Instagram posts so much!!! I think your memes and pictures are awesome and very funny, too! When will your next blog post be coming, and how often will you update it? Just curious, that’s all.” – Mimi

A: “I’m glad you’re a fan! Be patient, though, because my site has just gotten started. So give my production crew and Mr. J some time to put everything together. Hey, we’re not about the ‘latest new thing’, we just want to be productive enough to engage with our fans! In the meantime, Jason’s got his Instagram up and running @ jasimojason so check it out while you can!”

“Well, friends, that’ll just about do it for this G.R.W.M. session. Just keep writing or texting me and I might have some more good answers to come. And check out The Melody Page once in a while or every few months, and I don’t mind because I don’t get paid to perform in public. I just have to work hard and make good grades if I’m ever gonna get to Graduation Day. See you soon!”

Written and Produced By J. ATWOOD. ©️2026.

All written posts on this blog are fictional and played just for fun, while based on life experiences by the creator / author. There’s still some useful information, imagination and inspiration that may enlighten the reader’s desire for something unique and different.

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