The MELODY Page

Why is my phone talking to me? I tried to get it to zip its lip, but it keeps listening to every word I’m sayin’. Like… ‘serious’! Seriously! Or how ‘bout… ‘cereal’! Next thing you know, I’m pouring in a bowl of Froot Loops and then my phone wants to get even with me because it wants in on the conversation. How ‘eerie’! Alright, now what if I say the word ‘curious’ and then what happens?

My situation escalated when a mail order company used an A.I. voice bot over the phone. You see, I ordered a new and factory sealed Wilson Philips CD and this automated message couldn’t resist on making me hold on for one more day. To put in plain English, things don’t go your way.

This song’s been ringing in my head ever since I was a baby…

And what more can I do with a crazy good-for-nothing not-all-that-smart phone other than take selfies of myself and posting them to social? On the contrary, it’s great way to gain new likes and follows… I wish.

I remember the time when I was using a self-checkout at the supermarket. To my instantly unexpected surprise, I was ordered to scan my face just to get a receipt! I don’t understand pages of the store’s privacy policy anywhere, but isn’t it strange why everything has to be automated? As if machines wired to infinity have minds of their own and they go berserkoid!

Speaking of going berserk, I recall the day I sat beside this dork who brought out his 5G phone and listened to ‘Ordinary’ and repeating rhymes every five seconds. I can’t stand it no more! Petey was right…

This smart phone is not very smart, trust me. It most certainly has a virus that’s impossible to cure. Guess I’ll deactivate ‘Seeree’ and trade my old phone with a pea-brained one. Touch tones, baby! And one more thing… a smart person is smarter than a smartperson. I’m not going to let robots with exoskeletons turn me into that girl from ‘Small Wonder’ or influence my daily decision making. I just want to be the real ‘Me’ and not let Scooter Computer & Mr. Chips bother me, and that’s that.

For those who ‘Siri’-ously like their robots to be companions, this song is gratefully dedicated, btw…

• DISCLAIMER – ‘Melody’ is a cartoon girl crafted by an actual human being using digital technology. No artificial intelligence necessary.

All Drawings Created By J. ATWOOD. ©️2026.

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